16 May 2006

Children killed during domestic dispute

And we wonder why abused women don't leave, even when children are involved.

Patricia Saunders was stabbed Saturday during an argument with her husband, Clarence Saunders, who is also believed to have shot their two children. After shooting the childre, Saunders turned the gun on himself. Relatives believe Patricia Saunders was trying to leave the relationship to save her children.

So, I guess the point is that women do try to leave sometimes. But this can be the result.

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Blogger Adam R. said...

It seems that such headlines appear in my local newspaper at least once a week these days. Yet, we (and by "we", I mean not just the citizens of my home, but of every city on earth) have subconsciously trained ourselves to ignore such headlines. We tell ourselves that there is nothing we can do about abominable violence; but is that true?

My father routinely beat my mother when I was but a baby (and a toddler; it did not stop until she came to her senses, divorced him, and got as far away from his as possible), and occasionaly my sister and I. I know that I am not my father; however "macho" I may or may not be, I do NOT have it in me to hit ANYONE, male or female (however useless that may make me to our war-mongering president). Regardless, I've seen people from similar backgrounds grow to become exactly the kinds of monsters their fathers were; and this frightens me.

I thank the stars as often as possible that my mother left my father when she did, lest I grow to become him. I'm not prone to anger; and while I'm certainly no Mahatma Gandhi, I do think of myself as a pacifist first and foremost. I know I'll never be my father. That doesn't stop me from fearing for those children who are mentally scarred by abuse in their home. Patricia's children will never get a chance to prove me wrong; they'll never get a chance to to become the kind-hearted, caring people that this world so sorely lacks.

I'm not sure if I've made a point, or even if I'm trying to do so. I do not adhere to a religion that believes in an end-of-the-world scenario. However, I know this to be true: as long as headlines like "Children killed during domestic dispute" continue to appear in our newspapers, our world will slip further and further into the abyss.

[Sorry for clogging up this space with such dour thoughts, but I had to get this - whatever "this" is - off my chest]

- A.E.R.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Killer B said...

Adam, that was powerful and important to share. You could never clog space here. I hope you'll come back. Thank you for adding an unfortunate but relevant personal dimension to this story. I really appreciate your thoughts.

11:59 PM  
Blogger Carl Weaver said...

Sometimes this sort of thing happens, but it is still her responsibility to try to leave and protect the kids. The other side of this is that men who hit their wives, kids, etc. can be counted on to beat them to death eventually. It doesn't always end that way but often enough it does.

You have to assume that, anyway, when making the decision to stay. It could very easily become a deadly situation. So when weighing almost definitely getting killed after years of abuse versus possibly getting killed because of leaving the situation, I think you have to choose the latter. Kids can't grow up in that atmosphere. You have to at least try to do something positive.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Txfeminist said...

And would you believe that Father's Rights organizations would have you believe that his behavior was totally justified, and that the fear of being "torn from his children" was enough to "drive him over the edge"?

god, this stuff makes me so mad.

and Carl, stop blaming the victim. You have no idea how difficult it is for some women to leave for a wide array of logistic, emotional, economic, and sometimes religious reasons.

Women are killed most often trying to leave an abusive relationship.

4:18 PM  

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